Pancake day and as everthere are many more made than eaten. Obviously we’ve already wondered why wedon’t have pancakes more often – and yet there they are, more left over, forshame. But it’s a waste and I hate that, so if like me you have leftovers fearnot, for here are fifty uses of excess pancakes.
Anironic page marker for cookery books.
Aprotector for very cheap smart phones.
Sunblock for bald men, better the pancake crispy.
Anergonomic tissue.
Aholster for a banana, when used as a weapon.
Amilk mop.
Apocket kerchief when wearing a beige tie.
Arope for safe games of tug-of-war.
Anet for catching crafty flies.
Ameans by which wellies can be readily turned into pirate boots.
Ameans of storing CDs when all confused amongst their boxes.
Foruse in challenging only a very mildly deadly enemy to a less lethal than normalduel.
Ablanket for a poorly hamster.
Wetwipes for people with greasy skin.
Asa clay pigeon for Nerf guns.
Anemergency nappy when camping.
Amouse mat for practising computer dexterity with a boiled egg.
Aflag for attracting passing lemon vans.
Acomic for the short-sighted.
Asa knife for a Buddhist out mugging.
Asears when disguising oneself as an elephant.
Aclue in batter-related crime fiction.
Birthcontrol for couples that want children – one day.
Anapron for vegetarian cenobites.
Asail for toy boats on a gravy pond.
Theskin of a drum for tired musicians.
Aski-mask for hot summer days.
Prostheticleaves for an ailing house plant.
Ajudo mat for combative mice.
Avinyl LP for a record player without a needle.
Abandage for sugar-cuts.
Underpantsfor shy flashers.
Apatch for a threadbare batter tent.
Afrisbee for the disinclined.
Analien monster for Action Man B Movie re-enactments.
Awimple for a confectionary nun.
Alead for an unwanted dog.
Apresent for someone you mildly dislike.
Asa ghost costume for a chicken invited to a fancy-dress party at very shortnotice.
Asjewellery for the metal-intolerant
Awallet for the cash-challenged.
Asa throw to hide very small piles of mess.
Aliving environment for overweight pond-skaters.
Ascymbals for the easily startled.
Asaw for margarine planks.
Acrash helmet for workers in a pillow warehouse.
Atarget for spaghetti arrows.
Ablurry poster for fans of potato boy-bands.
Acushion for very mild piles.
And,as a buffet plate for the overweight.
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